Many couples work more the forty hours a week. As a result, they start feeling that the other is not there enough for them. One is busy raising the kids and the other is busy working. Or, maybe both are busy working. What can be done to save a relationship like this. Here are some strategies that could be implemented right away.

Before we carry on, I would like to impart a couple extra valuable resources with you. Firstly, learn how to get your ex to want you back. This way, it is much easier to make your boyfriend want you back. Also, here is some great “get my ex boyfriend back, tips. Here, you can also discover what to do when your ex boyfriend does not return your emails. This is crucial because your probable response would be to send masses of text messages or call. This will only drive him away. Finally, discover how to get your ex back with these extra resources. You will find dozens of practical articles and ex-back book recommendations. Now, back to our main theme.

The first step is always to assess if the relationship is worth saving. If there is violence in the relationship, then it is best to end it immediately. When there is violence involved, the relationship should be ended immediately. No other problem is too big to handle as long is there is NOT violence involved. If the relationship is otherwise peaceful, then stick with it.

If there is any violence involved, get out now. On the other hand, if there is no violence, then it does not really matter what the other issues are, this relationship is worth saving. Especially since there are kids involved. Do not be selfish and leave a relationship with kids just because you are not “fulfilled”. It is not about you anymore. It is about the kids.

The next step is to find out where the problem or problems are. This is not always easy. In many cases the problems are not what you think they are. 

For instance, many people think an affair is a problem that causes break ups.  In truth, the affair is a symptom of a deeper problem.  For instance, a lack of true intimacy can lead to a straying spouse.  While most people look at the affair as the problem, the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the primary relationship.  If you do not deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another problem (for instance pornography) could pop up because you haven’t dealt with the core issue.

When you start to deal with core issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship. 

You can start sharing thoughts once you are talking about the real problem. As you talk about your problems, try to be intimate. For example, hold hands or cuddle on the couch. Try not to be hurt by the conversation. There are likely to be things said that are hard to hear. This is ok. It is part of the healing process.

The next step is to make a plan for solving your problems. Perhaps the hardest part of this phase is requiring each other to do too much in too short a time frame. Making serious changes is always much easier said than done. Also, be lenient with each other. Requiring each other to change too much too fast will likely only end in failure.

As you two struggle to make these lasting changes, keep in mind that there will like never be an end to this process. The hard work that goes into making relationships long-lasting really never ends. It will go on until the day you die. Once you realize this, your life and relationships we become a lot easier. Welcome to the real world. 

Is your relationship worth saving?  If so, I’ve described in this article how to save a relationship.

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