Fighting or arguing is a part of any relationship. Conflict helps you relationship grow. Even the strongest relationships can go through some tough times. Some relationships fall quickly into pitfalls if not carefully handled and that is what this article is all about-finding out if you are a good or bad enemy and how to handle your relationship in a matured way.
If you are in a big fight, you become an enemy in the eyes of your partner. Ask yourself: What kind of enemy I am?

Are you a good or bad enemy?

Do you escape and avoid arguments in your relationship?
If you are too proud or stubborn to admit things are not working right, that makes you a bad enemy.
A good enemy on the other hand, does not avoid any arguments. Instead a good enemy listens and makes an effort to understand the conflicting situation. If you have a strength of character and enough patience, you would be able to handle situations easily.

If you are able to do all of these, it simply shows that you are able to listen to the hidden content of the whole idea of arguing- you are able to determine what your partner is crying out for, the need for contact and the desperation for loneliness.

Signs of being a good enemy to your partner:
– You always feel how important it is for your partner to feel good about themselves each day. – Be able to say an apology and break communication barriers – Praising your partner whenever they contributed something that helps your relationship – You acknowledge the problems in your relationship and helping you partner understand why it is important to discuss the problems. – You recognize and accept your shortcomings and think of ways for you to become a better partner – You treat your partner with respect and dignity at all times
You get caught in the stresses of daily living and dealing with a difficult partner makes it worse. but if you are able to deal with it, it shows that you have a skill of a good enemy.

The skills of a good enemy:

• Be able to accept the things that your partner find difficult in your relationship
• Deal with the problems in an calm and self-empowered manner
• Even if your partner can be difficult, you are able to focus the positive energy that enhances the relationship
• Be able to control your emotions, know when to stop and to say enough, and be able to make solid decisions
• Willingness Negotiate a win-win soluton with your partner

You must also understand that in your relationship, you should always work through problems and settle your differences in a cooperative way. After all, you and your partner thrive in a mutual understanding and peaceful atmosphere. Your goal must be clear, that fighting is not to make you a bad enemy, but rather the opposite.

Is your relationship beyond repair? 
It may not be as bad as you think…as long as you still care.By applying the ideas we offer in the ebook, you will become a Positive Conflict agent, what I call being a “Good Enemy”!
Want to know more?

Neil Warner
Positive Conflicts
PS: Need Results fast?
Get your copy of ”The Art of Positive Conflicts“

How do you express your anger?

• Your get “Hotheaded” and more intensely cursing and throwing things
• You do not show anger in loud ways but you are chronically irritable and grumpy
• Or constantly putting others down, criticizing everything, and making cynical comments

The choices above simply shows that you have not learned how to constructively express  anger. Beacuse of this lack of means,  isn’t likely to have many successful long term relationships, simply beacuse there is no way to vent this anger, it only accumulates.
It is hard to express anger in a controlled manner. The tendency for most is to explode.
To some extent, you can do things that will take your mind off the anger.
But is walking out of the situation a healthy way? It could be a temporary measure but it is still important to express your anger and address it properly because if not, it will pile up inside you.
Why it is necessary to express your anger? If your anger is not allowed as an outward expression, it can turn inward—on yourself. It can create problems like getting back at people indirectly, without telling them why. Or displaying a personality that is hostile and cynical. Worst-Case scenario would be : hypertension, high blood pressure, or depression.
Here are some simple ways to control your anger :

• By expressing you can say what your needs are, and how to get them, without hurting others.
• You can suppress your anger by converting it into a more constructive behavior or redirecting and focusing on something positive.
• You can calm down by controlling your inward and outward behavior, let the feelings subside to avoid health related problems

Remember that anger is a completely normal, human expression of emotion. It can turn into a destructive, unhealthy situation when it gets out of control.

Give yourself the opportunity to express anger in a safe way, without hurting anyone else. Try to forgive the person who wronged you.

Neil Warner

PS: Need Results fast? Visit: Positive Conflicts, And get your copy of “The Art of Positive Conflicts: Transforming Confrontations into Relationship Harmony,”

You may also want to check out : Anger Management On Line for your online anger management class

Are you feeling unhappy eventhough you are with someone whom you can share intimate moments? Do you feel that instead of making your life peaceful, your relationship becomes stressful and hard to deal with?
There are a lot of factors in your relationship that puts you in an unhappy situation. Your partner might be in a matured relationship with you but it is also possible that he has some unresolved issues that makes him hard to deal with. You partner might also never learnt how to accept and manage his anger. You must know the reason why your relationship is in a chaotic situation, if you fail to do so, chances are you will have a hard time dealing with your partner and your relationship as a whole.
In this article, you will find out if your partner has passive aggressive tendencies harmful to your relationship. This will help you understand your partner and save your relationship from being destroyed. If you are able to understand his past, you can stand up and regain your self-respect.
These are some signs of a person who has a passive aggressive behavior:
– Acts passive but aggressively gets what he wants – Agrees up front then doesn’t do what he agreed to and make things complicated in the end – Strikes his anger indirectly – Gets out of the situation where there is confrontation and criticism over an issue – Complaining about anything and thinks deeply how his life is being cursed
A passive aggressive person are emotionally unavailable and they usually do not get very close to anyone. They tend to reject emotional intensity and would find comfort by their inner isolation.
You can try to be patient and understanding but eventually, you will be confused by a barage of mixed irrrational or emotional contradictory messages. They would blame you for making them angry. As a result, you feel rejected. You do not know how to handle and react on a conflicting situation.  The negative environment alone can diminish your ability to decide, think and pinpoint the bad side of the relationship.
Your passive aggressive partner is confusing you that is why the situation does not improve; at some point, you explode. Over time, you will find yourself violent towards your partner as well, which was not part of your behavior before.
Do you want to regain the power to be happy in a good relationship?

If YES, your should understand that YOU have nothing to do with it and that you are just fine! He would react to whoever tries to enter into his private world. Intimacy and emotional compromise with any woman is what a passive aggressive person fears and not you. Know where you are when conflict appears and have more power to decide what is next in your life.

To your happiness,
Neil Warner
Creative Conflict Resolutions
Get your free copy of the report ‘5 Essential Skills for Happy Relationship‘
before I take it off line!

Building longer and peaceful relationship with someone is one source of happiness.
We all want to build a loving and lasting relationship but it is not that easy. Somewhere along the road, things will get in the way and you find yourself unable to maintain  your relationship.
One of the hindrances in loving relationships is anger. Anger is a powerful emotion. It is one thing that is going to do some damage whether you choose to express it or hold it.
What if you have ever loved someone who was angry at the world? Can you imagine what your life would be like in the years to come?
When one becomes really angry it creates a need to try to control everything. The effects of being angry is the damage done to the relationship. If anger arises, events progressed from mild irritation, to yelling or maybe physical abuse.
You may argue or fight intensely and anger seems to boil in degrees.

But ask yourself:
Does this help your relationship?

Here’s some facts about anger and how it can destroy your relationship:

• Anger can be easily destroyed if not taken cared of.
• - Anger can affect self-esteem and confidence.
• - Anger does affect trust and love.
• Anger is full of uncertainty and fear, it makes you say and do things that you will regret.

Too much anger in your relationship can affect the intimacy between you and your partner.Being in a chaotic situation will make you unhappy and can cause more ill feelings that would eventually destroy your intimacy.
Trust and honesty can be destroyed by anger so easily and it wears off intimacy in your relationship. Harsh words, criticism and non-acceptance are the causes of anger and it can destroy a loving relationship.

Anger can also cause blaming and criticism where you lash out at each other’s feelings.

 Blaming and criticizing also leads to a lack of intimacy and even more conflict in the long run.

If your relationship is truly valuable and you want to protect the emotional bond you that you have invested, the two of you should accept and understand each other. Do not allow yourselves to erupt without talking what should be done to make things clear. Find ways to discuss things in a peaceful manner.

To your happiness!
Neil Warner,

PS: To know more on Anger Management,
Visit our Site “Positive Conflicts“

Do you wonder why your strong emotion hurt your partner and destroy a good relationship?
Can you overcome your anger, instead of being overcome by it? Yes- if you change your mindset and attitude. This means that you must stop making excuses for your bad temper. You must bear in mind that anger is your enemy!
Uncontrolled anger can be very devastating. It can reveal your true nature. Anger is a negative emotion and it shatters relationship and breeds violence.

Is It Good To “Let it Rip?”

If you are using this excuse to hurt others, what you do not know is that it escalates anger and it does not help to resolve the situation.

To solve the problem of anger you must recognize the anger within your mind. You must apply practical methods in your daily life to control your anger.

To stop your uncontrolled behavior, you must know its symptoms. You will learn how to recognize them and stop it at an earlier time.

Here are the symptoms of uncontrolled behavior:

• Always thinking about detailed plans to commit acts of violence
• Threatening others
• Failing to acknowledge the feelings of others
• Feeling rejected
• Withdrawal from friends
• Loss of temper

So what is the best solution?

You should find out what causes your rage and when you do, develop strategies to control your anger.

You may also want to ask yourself these questions :

Is your anger important or reasonable enough?

Is it possible that you make the situation complicated?

Some ways to help you control your anger:

Anger Management can help you learn to control your reactions or get rid of the things that enrage you

• Simple relaxation tools can calm down angry feelings such as deep breathing, yoga-like   exercises, visualization of a relaxed experience
• It helps if you change your environment where you can have a fresh view of things and get away from the usual and irritating place.
• Choose less hurtful words and don’t say the first thing that comes into your head, think carefully about what you want to say.
• Humor can be used to help you face your problems more constructively. Don’t use sarcastic humor because it will still escalate anger
• Listen carefully to what the other person is saying and take your time before answering.
• Anger, even when it’s justified, can quickly become irrational so always remind yourself that you’re just experiencing some hard times in your life.

Every problem has a solution. The best mentality is to focus on how to handle and face the problem.

Neil Warner
Creative Conflict Resolutions

PS: Need Results fast?
Get your copy of “The Art of Positive Conflicts“
You may also want to check out this online anger management class